Somebody Please!!!

It would never be right to say it, but I know it has happened to all of us at least one time... There you are minding your business, and a young child walks by.  A cute little girl, or boy; somewhere in the range of about five to ten years old. (Give or take a couple of years.)  Anyway, they walk by and their hair is a complete mess! What's worse is that the adult that is with them seems to be totally cool with it!

And there it is, that's when that thought pops into your head... "Somebody please... do that baby's hair!!!" 

Okay, okay, okay... maybe it's just me, but maybe more people should think like that. I mean, I know they are just kids, and they really don't know any better (mine do), but it's just not fair. In most situations, though I do admit... not all, Mama's hair is on point, so why shouldn't the child's hair look nice too? 

And let's not forget the little boys...

As you can see it is not impossible.

Perhaps the problem is that people are just not aware that kid's hair need the same amount of TLC as grown folks do. As illustrated in my last blog post, there is too much care, but at the same time, there is not enough.  We need to learn to find a happy balance between the two, so our children will not end up with damaged hair from over or under stimulation. 

The fact of the matter is that children experience insecurities as well, when their hair is not in tip top shape. Because just like adults notice when other adults have a bad hair day, other children notice when a child has one, or two, or three as well. The difference is that children are more inclined to tease...

And that can open a child up to be bullied, tormented, and humiliated, just because "somebody didn't" take care of their hair.

Now, in the interest of being fair, I know that everyone does not have the time, patience, or skill to concoct "hairshow"worthy styles. (Which might be a good thing.)

YIKES!!!

However, there are a few simple tips that you can follow, to at least begin to get you through the torturous years before your youngster will be capable of styling their own tresses. 

#1  Like always, cleanse the hair on a regular basis. Ideally once a week, but realistically every two weeks, not to exceed three... and a month or more in between shampoos is just a blatant no no, so don't even consider it!

#2.  Condition... come on, if you've learned anything from me at all, you knew this one was coming.  Just like adults children need conditioner too.  After shampooing, simply apply a leave in, massage into the hair, and using a wide tooth comb... comb it through. Style as desired. Once every three weeks, apply a deep conditioner. Put a cap over conditioned hair, and sit the child under the dryer for 15 minutes or just leave the cap on for 30 minutes if a dryer is unavailable.

#3 Detangle, which is soooo much easier when hair is conditioned. After shampooing take the time to comb through the hair while undergoing the whole conditioning process. Believe me, it will save time, pain, and tears. 

 And by the way, I am operating under the assumption that you know to comb through hair prior to washing too.  If this is a difficult task, moisten hair with warm water or a water based conditioner, and use a wide tooth comb to go through individual sections. Repeat until all of the hair is tangle free.

#4  Oil hair and scalp; using a light oil. Go through and use the finger tips to massage oil directly onto the scalp. Thereafter pour a dime sized amount into the palm of your hand and massage onto hair. 

Okay, so those steps should get us through at least the initial steps that will guide us down the road of well kept kiddie hair. (Boy or Girl)  Next time we will visit some simple styles, that will keep children looking neat and tidy, and keep Mommies, Daddies, Aunties, Grandmas, or whoever happens to find themselves being the stylist to a child,  from losing their minds in the process.  Until then hold on to your hair... and the little people's too!

They're Just Kids!!

Hello Ladies! (And Gents) It's been a while, but I'm back... today we will begin by discussing hair of course, but the fragile and precious locks that adorn our little babies heads, instead of our own. 

I know it can be so hard to resist playing in their hair. It's fine, it's soft, curly, full, and just screaming comb me!! But we have got to learn to ease up on our children's hair. Yes, you've guessed it, I too am completely guilty of styling my little girls obsessively to the point where they have had the hair bumps, the tight ponytails, the red and irritated scalp, breakage, and what really got my attention.... Hair loss!

Before Thinning: Normal parts, full head of hair, and thick braids

  

Thinning; Notice edges and very thin braids. The length had gotten shorter as well.

I noticed it a short while after I gave birth to my third child. My second daughter's once beyond full locks had gone from over abundant, to scarce and thinning.  It was to the point that her hair was coming out in my hands... from the root! And she was only two years old, although I imagine that would be dramatic at any age, it just seemed unacceptable for a child that young. Now I had prided myself on always shampooing, conditioning, styling, and avoiding chemicals on my lil ones, so I felt like a failure when despite all of my efforts my child was dramatically losing her hair.

  So like any concerned mother I took her to the dermatologist, and she was convinced that my two year old daughter was having a direct reaction caused by the stress of having a new baby moving in on her territory. And uhhh, I was a little skeptical, although I could see that being somewhat dramatic. At the same time, Dad and I had thoroughly prepared the girls for the new arrival, and she absolutely adored Baby Brother, so I started looking into what else could be contributing to her sudden hair loss.  And of course, hindsight is 20/20, so I found all of the red flags.

Several times before she would get small knots, dry patches, and irritated scalp from ponytails, and other styles that I would put in her hair, and as my mother had warned me time and time again... her hair, as thick and full as it was, finally lost to my madness...

In this picture you can see the extra space bt her parts

After coming to the devastating realization that I was, in my mind, completely responsible for my balding toddler, I used the prescribed shampoo (which was a small dose of a steroid), and extra care to nurse her hair back to health.  I did her hair in very loose individual braids as a protective style to avoid manipulation. and continued the shampoo regimen, which was required at least once weekly.  It was a long and strenuous road, as I found her hair was returning painfully slow. 

However after six months, her thickness had returned.  Sadly I had to cut off the scraggly longer pieces, but that was easy after everything else we'd been through... Now we just had to work on restoring her length.

After cutting the residual long pieces. Notice returned fullness.





Now thanks to continued maintenance of a regular hair regimen, and less manipulation,.  her hair has returned to 100 percent fullness, and it's getting longer everyday. 

Well, now that I have established a valid connection and reason why  we should relax, when it comes to our children's hair, it's time to sign off.  Next time, we will get into the meat of the topic, and visit the other extreme... not doing "anything" to our children's hair.  Until then, hold on to your hair!!! ( and the little people's too!)

Braids, Braids, and more Braids!!!

Braids are a wonderful way to give your hair a break.  They are what you would call a protective hairstyle, allowing a welcomed rest period from styling. However sometimes braids can do more harm than good. That's why it is important to make sure you allow your hair adequate breathing time in between braiding styles, and also avoid excessive tightness. This way you will get the most from your braiding styles.

Braids encompass a wide variety of styles. Including, cornrows, micros, pixies, box braids, french braids; and a combination of other styles that are derived from these to create an endless selection of beautiful braiding styles to chose from.

Despite their beauty braids can pose their share of problems. If they are put in too tight, too frequently, or left in too long, then they can cause significant damage to hair. 

When put in too tight , they can cause hair loss; particularly around the edges. At the same time if they are put in with excessive frequency, the same result can occur because of the repeated manipulation. 

With any braid style, two months should be the maximum time period to keep the style. Exceeding this period can result in breakage, or even ailments of the scalp because of excessive dryness, and/ or a lack of cleansing.

But used properly, your hair can be happy, even in braids...

Until next time, hold on to your hair!

The Wonderful World of Weaves, and Wigs!

Ahhhh, this brings back memories of a time when all I did with my hair was wear weaves. The ease and versatility that a  weave provided me was simply heaven compared to the stresses of maintaining my own natural hair. I loved going from a short bob, to a curly fro, to a cropped cut, then a long wrap, and back again. It was fun and exciting, until it started taking a toll on my hair. I had literally become addicted, and started neglecting my own hair, but taking very good care of my weaves. This is where I went wrong.  

      

                                                     

     
WEAVES:


I may have delivered the wrong impression when I mentioned weaves in my previous blog posts. Truth is I am not against them. I have just taken notice to the manner by which thy are abused, and misused, which has kind of turned me off to them. 

  

 

   

In most cases it is true that people are aware that you are wearing a weave. But in the interest of being tactful, it is still a good idea to try to match the color, and texture to at least resemble your natural hair.  At the same time, when not implementing a full weave, use the hair that is left out to cover the wefts. It is distasteful to have the evidence of the weave visible for the world to see. 

On the other hand, when wearing a full weave, try to have it styled in such a way that appears natural.  In other words do not have a mountain of hair at the closure, and avoid having an overly thick and unnatural looking bang.

 In actuality, weaves do serve multiple purposes, for some women they provide freedom. Giving their natural hair a break from the harsh realities that everyday styling can impose on our fragile hair. For other women, a weave provides variety. Allowing them the opportunity to wear their hair in an abundance of different styles without ever having to alter their natural tresses. Some women may turn to weave because of their lifestyle. For example, actresses, and models. And a lot of women do it for experimental purposes, it's just fun! 


On the contrary, there are those that have become dependent on a weave. They may be ashamed of their natural hair, perhaps because of damage. In my experience with putting in weaves for women who fall in this category, a lot of them may be ashamed of damaged hair. They would turn to weaves because of bald spots, breakage, or lack of growth. For most of us weaves are all fun, opening up a whole different world of possibilities as far as variety is concerned, but for these women it is a way of life.  They become dependent on weaving, and it is at that point that the weave turns from functional to detrimental. 

  

This is the point that I realized that I was destroying my natural hair.  My usually thick head of hair was becoming thinner by the constant weaving, and my edges were almost nonexistent.

So let's see, what have we learned???  Weaves are an asset to the world of styling, however too much of anything will eventually cause a problem. 

WIGS:

Just like weaves, wigs are a wonderful asset to styling. They are good for bad hair days, versatility, and just plain laziness.  Again, I have been a victim of all three. In my opinion, wigs are a better alternative to weave. There is no time spent getting it put in, there is no tight pulling, and there is the option to take it off without the hassle of cutting out wefts, or unbraiding tracks. And when utilized correctly, they look just as good as a properly executed weave. 

Just like weaves though, wearing wigs excessively can result in thinning, and breakage around the hairline. So please use in moderation.

Well ladies, it looks like we've come to end. Next time we will visit extensions, and braids.  Until then... Hold on to your hair!

Hair Bloopers

Everyone has been a victim of at least one bad hair style. I can attest that I have done that to myself on several occasions, but the problem factors itself into the equation, when we don't realize that we are victims...

I like to think that people do not intentionally set themselves up with bad hairstyles, so I have to conclude that the culprits are bad choices, bad stylists, and lack of knowledge.

Bad Choices:

I'm sure there are many people who have fallen head over heels for cutting edge styles like Rihanna's blood red asymmetrical, or Nicki Menaj's pink China doll do, but the truth is you have to know what works for you. 

                                       
















Certain styles go with certain faces. 

For example oval shaped faces are ideal for styling. Someone with this shaped face can wear almost any hairstyle without ill consequence, providing there are no other factors that might be in the way.  

People with a round face are better with styles that create the illusion of length thus making the face appear slimmer. This is created by adding volume, and height  on top, and no volume along the sides.   

For the square facial type, the goal  is to round off the square edges. This can be done by bringing the shape of the style close to the head, volume should be created between the sides and the jaw by adding width, or fluffing hair around the ears.

In consideration of triangular or pear shaped faces, the goal is to create the illusion that the head is wider in the narrowed forehead area. Volume is needed at the temples, with height at the top for this to work. 

Now this is just a basic guide. In reality there are far too many facial types, and special considerations to those facial types for those of us who are  not stylists to even care to remember. However, we have to be somewhat responsible for our hair, I mean after all, we have to walk around with it. But here is where the stylists come in...


Bad Stylists: 

Now please people, do not get offended!

 By bad stylists, I do not mean that they lack ability, or skill. But rather I am referring to the stylists that will do anything a customer asks just to make a buck! Now it is true that in cosmetology school they teach you that the customer is always right, however as a stylists it becomes a responsibility to guide your clients along the right path.  


Helping clients to use better judgement, suggesting other styles, not just based on looks, but backed by considerations such as face shape, age, hair type, condition of the hair, and other important details that do affect the outcome.

Lack Of Knowledge:

Lastly, I hate to use ignorance as an excuse, but sometimes it is not an excuse, but simply the truth!!!  Yes we like to think that everyone goes to a salon for regular shampoos, and trims, but come on guys, you've heard the news about our economy... everyone cannot afford that luxury! 

In those cases, it is ideal to care for our own hair, and a lot of people don't know the first rule to hair care. So they buy boxed hair color, relaxer, and anything else available at the beauty supply store and they just indulge. 

The answer to this problem, is just to educate yourself.  The internet, though every source is not reliable, is a great tool with an immeasurable amount of tips, rules, suggestions, dos and dont's, and just plain information, with respect to all hair types. I also realize that everyone does not have access to the internet, and in those cases we have the library where the internet is free, and also there are tons and tons of books on the topic! If push comes to shove, use each other...

Next time we will visit the wonderful world of weaves, wigs, hair pieces,  and extensions! Until then, hold on to your hair!!!

Healthy Hair is Happy Hair

But how do we get there?!?! We hear all of the talk about healthy hair, and we see all of the images of women who have gone that extra mile and have made the big chop! Is that the only way to recover from the madness  that we have put our hair through? Is that the answer, the last resort, or simply a choice???

Well, it all depends on how you look at it, and how much work you are willing to put in.  As a woman who has taken that step, and made the big chop, I can honestly say it was nothing more than a choice for me.  I had been natural for about four years, but still weaved my hair regularly without regard for trimming, treating, conditioning, or loving my own hair. It came to the point that I was ready to wear my own hair, but I did not want to deal with the thinning edges, or the broken ends, so I made the big chop. Truth is, I just wanted to rock the short curly look, but I could have easily met my hair where it was and treated it to health...

Before Big Chop

After Big Chop

Now on the contrary, there are actually those that think a hair cut is the only option.  That is not the case at all. Regular trims are one thing, but chopping just to get to a healthy point is not the best way to have happy hair. It is better to maintain the health of the hair before getting to the point where a haircut is the only way to go. 

One way to do this is in fact to get regular trims. And just for clarification a trim is not a haircut!!! It is just what it indicates; taking a little off to maintain health, and eliminate damaged ends. A trim takes off, split, brittle, and damaged ends, and also keeps hair looking neat and well kept. On average you should trim your hair every six to eight weeks, taking off about one eigth to one half of an inch, depending on need.  It is best to use cutting shears specifically made for cutting hair. Regular scissors are not sharp enough and can end up doing more harm than good. 

There are also ways to avoid split ends. For instance avoiding excessive heat, avoiding the use of rubber bands, and keeping the ends of the hair well moisturized can work wonders. Also wearing protective hairstyles, like  twists and cornrows, will allow your hair a break from the stress of everyday styling. 

Now Ladies, I hate to beat this horse to death but clean hair, just like a clean scalp, leads to happy hair.  I know the age old theory that "dirty" hair acts better... It lays down, wraps properly, and looks better. But the truth is, it is weighed down with oils, product, dust, and other things our hair is exposed to on a regular basis.  Hair needs to be clean, free of dirt, and oils in order for the scalp to receive oxygen and for hair to grow.  Clean hair, is hair that has been properly shampooed, to cleanse the hair of any type of build up. On average hair should be shampooed every two weeks, however once a week is even better. 

Lastly, I have to visit something that we have all heard before, but the importance CANNOT be stressed enough.  Many of the things that we regularly do to our hair strip our hair of moisture, so it is imperative that we restore that moisture in some fashion.  That is where, yes you've got it ladies.... "Conditioning " makes a return appearance.  Flat ironing, blow drying, curling, relaxing, extreme weather, and other factors play a significant role on the condition of our hair. Excessive exposure to any one, or more than one of these factors can reek havoc on our tresses, so do not be afraid to use conditioner. 

One definition of conditioner is... a substance that improves the condition of something else, so it will not do you harm. Take my word for it, it will make a significant difference in the feel and quality of your hair.

Alright, looks like we've reached the end of another informational session. Remember to keep your hair happy, next time we will discuss when styling goes wrong. Until then, Hold on to your hair!